Thursday, March 28, 2013

6 months

Well, here I am again. It has been a long time since I have posted last.  I really thought I would be posting a lot more on my blog these last few months.  I think I need to face up to the fact it probably isn't going to happen very often. By the end of the day all I want to do is NOTHING and writing takes time for me. 

6 months!  We have been home six months today.  The main emotion I feel when I think about 6 months ago is anxiety.  There, I said it.  I was so anxious to get back to Cole and Ellie and to be home.  It is not that we didn't like Ethiopia or we didn't feel safe.  We just wanted to be home.  When I think about the last six months I am amazed at how well Tom and Rigby and Cole and Ellie are doing.  We had (and have) our problems and this has not been easy but they are really doing well considering.  What I didn't expect is the way that I feel.  I am not quite ready to go into to it in detail but this has been very hard for me as far as my feelings and emotions.  I know love is an action and I need to fake it till you make it but this really hard to do all day long.  I never thought I would be the one with bonding issues:)  However, I realize that there are other mothers out there going through this. They just don't talk about it much.  Why would they.  It is not an easy thing to admit.  "Hey, I have been waiting for 2 years for these kids and I really don't like them"  The guilt that I feel just writing that.  I know that we were called to adopt and I have faith that I will feel better.   I need to love when I don't want to love and do the right thing when every inch of my body does not want to.  I fail everyday, several times a day but I am taking baby steps.    Well, I said more than I was planning on.  So tempted to erase what I just wrote.  Sorry if I disappoint anyone.  Believe me, I have disappointed myself many times BUT I know that this will work out.  I just don't know when. 

Have a great Easter everyone.  Better get some kids Easter video's out for Tom and Rigby to help show them what Easter is about.  Cole and Ellie might sacrifice and watch too.  (They don't want to admit they still like them.  They do not, however, like Barney and hate it when Tom and Rigby watch it:)   

PS  I probably should post some pictures.  Hopefully I will remember after Easter. 


Sunday, January 6, 2013

First Christmas Photos

Here are some pictures of our first Christmas together.  Tom and Rigby did great and of course had a blast.  We are so blessed to have families that care so much about our kids.  We had a great time with our families!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Sorry I have not posted

Well, this is just a short post to say that I am sorry that I have not posted in awhile.  I hope to post something for Christmas.  I feel bad but I guess it is better to live my life than post about my life:)


Friday, September 21, 2012

Cleared! What to expect when we get home?


Well, we are leaving soon to go and pick up Tom and Rigby.  The US Embassy cleared us without requesting a birth parent interview.  Wow!  That is pretty amazing even if it has been happening more often.  Our flight has been booked and it turned out really good.  Giving God the glory.  

In preparation for getting our kids home we have been reading about attachment and bonding again.   I have been also asking questions to people that have already brought children home.  Basically, the next year will probably be really HARD.  There are some families that don't have a lot of issues but that is rare.  I am not saying that to complain.  I am saying that to prepare myself and everyone else.    As I read blogs of other families that have brought their children home they often let their friends and families know what to expect.  Once again I am going to refer you to another post that has great information in it.  Jen Hatmaker wrote this post after she had been home with her kids so it comes from experience.  It sure opened my eyes as to what we should expect.  Before I refer you on to her post, I am going to try to summarize what I have learned and what everyone can expect.

1) We are planning on keeping Tom and Rigby home for awhile.  I really do not know how long and to what extent.  When we do go out, we will go as a family and will not leave Tom and Rigby with other people.  Basically, when we first get home, please do not be offended if we don't invite you over or invite you in when you stop by.  For what we have heard and what we have read, we need to focus on bonding and attachment with our news kids while staying bonded and attached to Cole and Ellie:)  

2)  For at least the first 6 months Dan and I should be the ones that give physical affection to Tom and Rigby.  That includes hugs, kisses, sitting on laps and so on.  Handshakes should be fine.  Maybe this phase will not last very long but we want to do the right thing.  

3)  I may need help getting Cole and Ellie to events or just getting them out of the house. 

4)  Prayer - Please pray for Tom and Rigby as they come live with strange people, in a strange house, in a strange town and eat strange food.  Pray for Cole and Ellie as this is going to be hard on them as well.   Also, please pray for patience and strength during this transition and as we try to continue on with our every day activities like school. 

Well, I would encourage you to read Jen's Hatmakers.  She gets into more details and she does a wonderful job explaining things.

Thank you,

Dan, Becky, Cole, Tom, Ellie, Rigby Haskins 

Friday, September 14, 2012

2nd try of Video - edited to make shorter

I tried to post this video when we first got back but I had some problems and then I forgot about it. Hopefully this works.

We were expecting to hear from the US Embassy this week about whether we were cleared or needed to wait. We didn't hear anything so we are disappointed. However, I am trying to remind myself that the fact we received a referral, passed court right away, and were submitted to Embassy so fast is a HUGE blessing. Everything was happening so fast that I forgot to be grateful.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Submitted to Embassy

One Wednesday, September 5th, we received a surprise email stating that we were submitted to embassy.  We were expecting it to take at least a couple more weeks. It was fun because a lot of other families did as well.  America World said that we will know by early next week if we are cleared.  Officially we should know within 10 business days so it might be later next week or the week after.  If we not clear the US Embassy is either 1) requesting an interview with the birth parent or 2) sending the case to the USCIS office in Nairobi,Kenya because it is "not clearly approvable". 

When our case does clear the Embassy we then get to request three interview dates.  I think they will tell us the next day which date we will be given and then we make plans to go again. More than likely they will request a birth parent interview but if they don't we could be heading back next weekend.  Crazy!  If they do request a birth parent interview we would at least be waiting a few weeks before we are cleared. 

Well, hope to be posting again soon!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

And their names are-

Well, I think the kids have told enough people that I can tell everyone our children's names.  Our son's Ethiopian name is Goitom (GOY tum ) and his American name will be Tom.  (It is possible it might be Thomas but right now it is just Tom)  So his name will be Tom Goitom (GOY tum) Haskins.  Our daughter's Ethiopian name Rigibe (a  RIG ba ) and her American name will be Ribgy.  So her name will be Rigby Rigibe (a RIG ba) Haskins.  As you can see we are trying to use some of their Ethiopia name in their American name.  Actually, we kind of thought the Rigby's name actually sounded like Rigby so we started calling her that and we got used to it. 

I am sorry I have not written in awhile.  Honestly, I had a lot of good ideas about posting but now that I am home I need to focus on Cole and Ellie (we started school yesterday) and getting ready for Tom and Rigby.  I did type up my thoughts when I was in Ethiopia so maybe someday I will have more time to get them down (HA!)  I did get my pictures organized on Monday so that was a huge thing.  I have read a couple other blogs that have been really good and I am going to share them.

One post comes from another family that was in Ethiopia when we were.  They also passed court and are now waiting for a Embassy Date to go pick up their daughter.  This post has to do with not sharing information about our children's past and she did a really good job.  I know that I have not said a lot about their past but there has been times that I have said some information that I wish I would not have.  So basically, if I have told you about our children's past, please do not share that information.  Like I said, I have not shared much but I just want to be safe.  Here is the post "Our Adopted Gift - Her Story to Tell"

The other post is from Jen Hatmaker and I encourage you to read it.  "The Truth About Adoption:  One Year Later"   Dan and I know of the possible struggles ahead of us but this was a good reminder.  I need to be careful not to get freaked out but to be prepared.  I also think it is good for those close to us to know what we may be going through

I still need to try to post more pictures but right now I am focusing on organizing and school.  I probably should clean the house soon too:)