Friday, September 21, 2012

Cleared! What to expect when we get home?


Well, we are leaving soon to go and pick up Tom and Rigby.  The US Embassy cleared us without requesting a birth parent interview.  Wow!  That is pretty amazing even if it has been happening more often.  Our flight has been booked and it turned out really good.  Giving God the glory.  

In preparation for getting our kids home we have been reading about attachment and bonding again.   I have been also asking questions to people that have already brought children home.  Basically, the next year will probably be really HARD.  There are some families that don't have a lot of issues but that is rare.  I am not saying that to complain.  I am saying that to prepare myself and everyone else.    As I read blogs of other families that have brought their children home they often let their friends and families know what to expect.  Once again I am going to refer you to another post that has great information in it.  Jen Hatmaker wrote this post after she had been home with her kids so it comes from experience.  It sure opened my eyes as to what we should expect.  Before I refer you on to her post, I am going to try to summarize what I have learned and what everyone can expect.

1) We are planning on keeping Tom and Rigby home for awhile.  I really do not know how long and to what extent.  When we do go out, we will go as a family and will not leave Tom and Rigby with other people.  Basically, when we first get home, please do not be offended if we don't invite you over or invite you in when you stop by.  For what we have heard and what we have read, we need to focus on bonding and attachment with our news kids while staying bonded and attached to Cole and Ellie:)  

2)  For at least the first 6 months Dan and I should be the ones that give physical affection to Tom and Rigby.  That includes hugs, kisses, sitting on laps and so on.  Handshakes should be fine.  Maybe this phase will not last very long but we want to do the right thing.  

3)  I may need help getting Cole and Ellie to events or just getting them out of the house. 

4)  Prayer - Please pray for Tom and Rigby as they come live with strange people, in a strange house, in a strange town and eat strange food.  Pray for Cole and Ellie as this is going to be hard on them as well.   Also, please pray for patience and strength during this transition and as we try to continue on with our every day activities like school. 

Well, I would encourage you to read Jen's Hatmakers.  She gets into more details and she does a wonderful job explaining things.

Thank you,

Dan, Becky, Cole, Tom, Ellie, Rigby Haskins 

1 comment:

  1. Becky - this was one of the best I've read. I'm going to save this to use as a guide when our time comes (if ever....sigh). One of the only ones I've read that didn't give me a bad feeling in my stomach by the end. Praying for you and excited for you! ps if we get a girl referral we are naming her Ellie :)